Pregnancy
The pregnancy was not too bad - I was quite sick to start with but kept up with swimming and cycling the whole way through and apart from feeling terribly tired until the last trimester, really enjoyed it. The last bit was wonderful, especially after I stopped work. I felt really well and enjoyed pottering at home. I tried not to wish away the time til the birth and Keith and I had a lovely time - meals together with this fabulous sense of anticipation. The weather was lovely in the weeks before too so I was lunching in the garden in the sun - it was great! We had decided on a home birth as I was keen to have the minimum of intervention in the birth as this is best for the baby (assuming all goes normally). We also thought it would be a much nicer experience if we could have the baby at home rather than in hospital. However, we remained open minded that there was a good chance, with a first baby, that we might end up in hospital anyway (some first labours are inefficient and need helping along). Given the pitiful service the NHS offered we decided to pay for private midwives and went to Birth Rites and we were allocated two midwives to look after us - Melody was my main one with a backup so they shared the antenatal and postnatal visits and Melody helped me with the birth. They were fabulous.
Labour and birth
On the Monday of the week Georgia arrived, I started to get a bit tetchy as I had done most of the things I had wanted to get done before she arrived - it was hard not to start to be impatient. That night I had some contractions but they died out in the morning when I got up so Keith went off to work and nothing happened during the day (that was very frustrating). The same happened on Tuesday night although I had a bit of a show which suggested things really were happening. However, again, in the morning things died down but I did continue to have contractions on and off during the day. Our midwives had told us to keep ignoring the contractions until we couldn't anymore because they could come and go on and off for weeks before true labour really started. I went shopping and was having contractions on and off round Sainsburys!
The contractions continued but erratically for the evening and we went to bed. I tried to sleep but couldn't so we got up and tried out the tens machine as a practice for when the labour really started (!). I was sick a few times and this continued on and off over the evening/night. By 2am we realised that this was the real thing (my contractions were 5 minutes apart). We rang Melody who suggested we got in the birthing pool. I was not amused at this as I thought she was just playing for time to avoid having to come out (the rational effects of labour!!). - I was worried I was not advanced enough to get in the pool and that it would therefore slow the contractions again. Keith and I agreed we would try the pool but if things slowed down I would get out again.
The pool (which was in the middle of the dining room) was ready by 3.30ish so I got in and things speeded up immediately - my contractions were 3 minutes apart. I remember this lovely phase where classical music was playing and the candles were burning and between contractions I was looking out of the window at the lilac tree in blossom in the garden and the dawn breaking and Keith was quietly lying on the sofa timing the contractions. At 5am we agreed we would ring Melody at 6am (believing I would be labouring for all of Thursday as well). At 5.10 am I told Keith to get Melody. My waters broke at about 5.40 - it was an amazing sensation - I felt and heard the pop (like a balloon full of water). Keith checked the pool and there was no sign that the amniotic fluid was anything but clear. Things really got serious then. The contractions were almost constant and very strong. I was retching a lot too.
Melody arrived at 5.45 and eventually I agreed for her to check how dilated I was (I was worried that I would only be 3 cms or something) I was 8is cms and she said I was in transition. I didn't really believe her as I had imagined it would take much longer to get to that stage. This stage and the pushing stage was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. It is painful in a way that is impossible to describe - my pelvis felt like it was going to burst and I knew there was only one way to escape the pain and that was to go through it and surrender to it. I couldn't really even have gas and air by that point as it can make you feel sick and I was already being sick. Keith found this stage very hard too and went into the kitchen for a bit and made a cup of tea.
Melody was excellent in helping me to give in to the pain and push productively and at 6.59am on 25 April 2002 Georgia shot into the world. She did not crown - she just came out head, shoulders - the whole lot in one contraction. The one thing I will never forget is that as she came out I could feel the difference between her face and the back of her head - I felt her profile go by on the way out - it was amazing and something I wouldn't have felt if I had had an epidural. Her rapid arrival took Melody by surprise and Georgia sunk to the bottom of the pool and Melody had to pick her up from the bottom!
Melody had got Keith to whack up the central heating - Georgia and I said hello in the pool then they dried Georgia and warmed her up - she had done her bit by getting into the right position just before the birth (she had had her back to my back up to a short while before the birth) which I think made the labour so efficient. I also think the nights of contractions before also helped do some of the work so the labour lasted 13 hours or so in total!
We had a cuddle on the sofa and Georgia was weighed (7lb exactly). Then we had a bath together and Melody washed my hair for me and then we went to bed. Keith made us bacon sandwiches and Georgia had a bit at the breast. We cracked open the champers but I only managed a few sips (not like me I know!)
The first few weeks
What an overwhelming experience - our daughter is just beautiful but nothing prepares you for parenthood - your hormones are all over the place and you are just flailing around in the dark as you don't know whether her cry means she is hungry, dirty, tired... or she is just crying! There are no rules and no one knows your child better than you (and you don't know her!). There is no objectively right answer to any given issue so you just muddle along using trial and error! Of course there is also a totally all-consuming desire to do the right thing for this miraculous creature. It is pretty hard to achieve when you are not sure what the right thing is!! Everyone agrees though that she is just beautiful!
We had serious breast feeding problems as Georgia and I were not very talented at it - I was not good at helping her latch on and she has a highly vaulted mouth so it is hard to get my nipple to the back of her mouth to stimulate her sucking reflex. This problem dominated the first few weeks of her life - I felt pretty desperate - full boobs and screaming hungry baby. For a few days she would not latch on at all so we were having to express milk and feed her from a little cup - it was exhausting and horrid. In the end Katie Fisher, a lactation consultant (would you believe it?!!) came round and identified the problem (my short nipples and Georgia's vaulted mouth) and helped us a great deal. We started using nipple shields and these have helped a lot. Eventually, Georgia began to do the odd feed on my nipple without the shield and by 6 weeks she was feeding all the time without shields. This was a real turning point as it made such a difference to me to have the breast feeding more under control.
We took her out in the pram for the first time on 29 April - I had hardly been out since she had been born. We took her to South Park Gardens and to Safeways and we were both paranoid she would be abducted etc - you feel so responsible for this tiny defenceless creature.
Things are settling down much more now. We have been out and about a fair bit and also seen a bit of the girls in my NCT group - she was the first born out of the 6 in our group. It is wonderful and very tough at the same time - the days are very different to being at work - there was no structure at first but that is coming now and the demands are totally different to work. We know her and her needs much better than we did 9 weeks ago but there is still so much to learn and she will be changing constantly so even if we think we have worked something out, she changes again and we have to try to work out what to do for the best all over again.
Apart from meeting and marrying her father, she is the most incredible thing that has happened to me and I thank God for her.
